Monday, September 20, 2010

Bradley Cooper: Hot Actor or Hottest Actor

Bradley Cooper might be the hottest actor alive today. I don't know what it is about him, but I am so into it right now. He was the only character I liked in Valentine's Day, he was the reason I saw A-Team three times and All About Steve at all, and he was the reason I got drunk and kept screaming at the TV during He's Just Not That Into You. There are other actors whom I think are hot, but Bradley is definitely number 1. Therefore, I have composed this list of his sexiest roles for your convenience.

6. Wedding Crashers
This movie is definitely his least sexy role. I mean he looks good, but they put him in a lot of dumb outfits and his hair is too short. His character is also a complete and total ass, which is off putting.

5. He's Just Not That Into You
Once again his character is a complete ass. You would think they would just cast him as the sexy crime fighting, bunny petting, chicken alfredo cooking, world saving six pack of hot justice that he is, but apparently Hollywood thinks he's more readable as a doucher. However, his hair is longer in this one, and he wears a lot of standard successful man outfits so he looks good enough that it overrides the "cheating on his wife" aspect of the film.

4. Valentine's Day
First of all, he's barely in this movie at all, which is bullshit, especially considering Ashton Kutcher is on screen for about 105 more minutes than necessary, and there's a plot line with two old people that never manifests into anything or connects with the rest of the story. However, if you plan on just skipping all the Valentine's Day hijinks to the good parts, you will find Bradley looking extremely handsome with long hair, a waistcoat, and some neck scruff. He also turns out to be gay in the end, and the scene in which he reunites with his bf is super adorable & the highlight of the movie.

3. All About Steve
OK if you haven't seen this movie, then just be forewarned that it is as bad as everyone says it is. I wont get into it now because there's nothing I can say that a 05% rating on RottenTomatoes can't tell you, but just know that should you choose to sit through all of it, you may emerge frozen in a cringing position. That being said, Bradley is super hot in it, and you get to see a lot of him because he's one of the main characters. His character is also a good person, although he plays a regular Joe so he's just more kind of polite than really awesome.

2. The Hangover
You've seen it, I don't need to tell you. This is the movie in which his unofficial role is "The hot guy." Long hair, scruff, sunglasses, it's all there. He's awesome, the character's awesome, just go watch it again, because I know you own it.

1. A-Team
There is a scene in this film in which he takes his shirt off to first reveal his amazing six pack, and all of the three times I watched it the audience audibly gasped. It's truly unbelievable. If you didn't see this move in theaters, you've missed a very rich and fulfilling life experience. He's ripped to total shreds, tan, has just the right amount of body hair to seem manly w/o seeming uncle-y, long hair, cool outfits, scruff. Not only is he a good guy, but he saves the damn mission in the end. A+


So, we don't post anything because we're super procrastinators and spend time on things like searching for halloween costume ideas and making vegan shepard's pie, but TONIGHT IS THE EXCEPTION. I just saw Devil and I'm going to write a review while it's all fresh in my mind.

Devil is about a bunch of people who get on an elevator in a big fancy lawyer building in Philadelphia (PENNSYLVANIA PRIDE!). Whilst on that elevator, it breaks down and gets trapped midway between two stops. The people trapped start panicking and pressing the emergency buttons. The security guards who are keeping watch in the TV monitor room are able to see all the people & talk to them, but the people aren't able to talk to the guards. Everything seems standard at first, but then scary inexplicable things start happening and people start dying, and the detective in charge of the situation has to crack the case before everything descends into total chaos.

I'm going to level with you, this movie is not super good. The actors aren't good, it's not very scary, the ending is kind of predictable, it has a key plot point that you will remember from Signs, and for being a suspense thriller it's honestly not very suspenseful. However, we need to look past all this and focus on the good. So M. Night Shyamalan is one of the writers for this movie, accredited with the "story," and I have always liked this guy. His last few movies (Lady in the Water, The Happening, The Last Airbender) have been terrible, and it pains me to see him getting worse and worse. I went through the same thing with my gal Britney Spears. I was really hoping The Last Airbender was going to be his big comeback, and then that just got so destroyed I was afraid he wasn't going to be able to resuscitate his dignity. However, Devil actually isn't that bad, and a bunch of people I've talked to liked it, so perhaps this is a glimmer of hope for M. Night. Maybe his next big comeback is just around the corner. I feel like he has a genuine passion for filmmaking and I would really like to see him get some critical success in the future.

Overall: 2.5/5 it's fine. I don't know. Probably good for seeing with your dad or something.
Hotties: 4/5 There's actually a pretty hot guy in this movie, which I didn't realize. He has a lot of screen time and some type of accent. He looks like Eames from Inception.
Hope for M. Night: 3/5 He's not out of the water yet, but he's on the right path